Tuesday, May 7, 2013

Bitterness leads u the right path.


its already been a while i didn't write, ermm type in this small tiny blog. my life been upset. well, every one life has its own up and down, but mine just fell into a black pit and now i am climbing back to the up. oh well, i am still climbing, of course not by myself but with Sayang's help and Terry's help. they both really helps me a lot this time. no matter what will happen, until the sun rise from the west, i wont forget everything they done for me.

it's quite a shock, it really did take half of my life when all the things happen. well, i would say, bullshit happened. having a fight with the housemates aren't really cool things especially when we already an adult and gonna have our last year together. but, i couldn't help myself. i am not going to let my pride to be stepped on. it's hard to hold on. i don't choose to be their muse, nor their fool. so, i choose to walk away and sorry but sorry, i am no longer care about them. whatever happened to them, i choose not to care, anymore. its better this way. i live the way i live, and they live the way they want to live. just, i really hope they don't play anymore with my pride, just don't try to disturb my life, just what i did. ITS BETTER THIS WAY.

some wise man said, its better to live your life with a man who speaks the truth, shows the truth and be sad than to live with a man who speaks lies, act the lies and be happy about the lies. because, sooner or later, the happiness will be among the truths. the happiness with liars won't last longer as it's fake. i am applying the saying into my life. i keep the important one to my life, and dustbin-ing the less important. sikda guna nyimpan org yg xpenting. recently, i keep motivating myself to jaga hati sendiri first. i am not being selfish, but the experience being a teacher, i learn to love myself first, than love others. sometimes, we really need to be selfish, of course for our own sake as long as its not too much and menyusahkan orang. we give and take. be good to someone good. be neutral to someone 'less-good'. (its harsh to state someone as bad). GIVE AND TAKE.

3 paragraphs on my personal feeling. HAHA. being too emotional aren't cool :P i am cool. always want to be the coolest person. being way too emotional is harmful to your baby, and being way too cool is awesome. okay, bubbling too much. bla bla bla. whatever!

i really thanked my sayang, MOHD TERMIZI JAMAIN. who always been by my side, cheering my through my thick and thin, holding my hands when i fall, kiss me when i cry, amuse me when i am sad. i really thanked u sayang. admit it, we did fight a lot lately due to my stresses (probably, yes). almost breaking up, but a hug save our relationship. all the harsh words i throw up, i am sorry for that. i am not in the right mind for the moment. i want u to know, i truly love u. really love u. i just need some time to be normal back, to heal the heartache. please, keep holding on to me. never let me go. never let my hands go. i need u more than anyone else. i love u.

i thanked TERRYMELDA LAMIRI too for her concern. day and night, she will checked on me. asking me either i have taken lunch or dinner. nah, she always be the one who cleaned up the mess i left. just remember, one of those days, i locked myself up in a restroom (i need to cry and be alone) and she patiently waiting for me. she's a great friend and i have decided to keep her in my life, FOREVER. so, don't try to touch her or lay a finger on her, because i might ended up laying my 20 fingers on your face, all over the face.

not to forget, my EMEM. he always be by my side. he is my second boyfriend. he understood me. when my mood swing, he comes near me, licking my nose, kissing my cheeks. i love u, EMEM. please be a good boy when u grow up soon. mommy always love u. and, babah too :)

this post aren't really a good post, but i choose to write it up so i dont forget a black hole in my life. learn the lesson. be good to someone who worth to be good for. astalavista. till we meet again. assalamualaikum.

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