Monday, December 10, 2012

honestly speaking.

Assalamualaikum.

Hai !

it's kinda awkward to write again. but, i should start writing again. the feelings inside mixed altogether. i bottled up everything. maybe, it's time to sort things back to normal. so many things happened lately. actually, i have give up blogging. i felt no one would read as i wrote craps and trashes all the time. and, i am getting upset by reading back my old posts. but, who knows, one of my readers (my special reader i think) tracking me down using Twitter. the urge to write and posting post came back but i wait until i am all ready to write. i think, the time has come. i hope, i will continue in writing. i have been hiding for too long since the heartbreak he gave me. a year had passed. rise and shine. 

so many things had happened in this one year. family, friends, break up, study, teacher, student, all are mixed up. but, i am living my life well though. i don't need anyone to make me happy. family and friend tried to set me up with this one man, but in the end, its end. and still, i feel nothing. i wonder if my heart really scattered to pieces. if it true, all thanks to you-know-who-you-are. i can't love. i am scared to love. too scared. i wonder if you are happy today without me. i am happy by the way. and, to that one man that family and friends tried to set us up, i am sorry. i really can't. it's not that i didn't trying, i have. i realize things doesn't change at all. my heart didn't race.

for few months, i am living my life well. went to school, teaching kids, back to home, hanging out, bowling and such things. i laugh when i am happy, i cry when i am sad. and, my life still running smoothly. 

i still believe in love but i am too scare to love. 
i hope, someday, someone will come mending my broken pieces.  
i hope, someday, someone can make my heart race. 
i hope, someday, someone will point at me, and tell his friends, 'that's her'.
i hope, someday, my true love come. 

i should stop for now. it's 9:00 am already, i have been awake since 2:41 am. its time to take my bath. maybe, a nap. maybe. 

assalamualaikum. 

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